Singleton's Dictionary

smidoid · 11-25-2006, 01:01 PM

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No tits
Average looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie
Friendship first = Former very *friendly* person
Fun = Annoying
New Age = Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Professional = *****
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large frame = Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate = Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is pre-menstrual, she prefers a man doused in petrol andset on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

wozza · 11-27-2006, 09:45 AM

hahaha very funny marc!!

almostdiva · 11-29-2006, 09:36 AM

FUNNY! I esp. like the part about on flame, with scissors stuck in his eye. I've been that woman on one or two occasions in the past.

11-25-2006, 01:01 PM	#1
smidoid Alas, poor Nemo... Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "Smoggy", England, UK Posts: 665	Singleton's Dictionary DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish = 49 Adventurous = Slept with everyone Athletic = No tits Average looking = Ugly Beautiful = Pathological liar Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure = On medication Feminist = Fat Free spirit = Junkie Friendship first = Former very friendly person Fun = Annoying New Age = Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded = Desperate Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing Passionate = Sloppy drunk Professional = ***** Voluptuous = Very Fat Large frame = Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate = Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is pre-menstrual, she prefers a man doused in petrol andset on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside. __________________ Marc "Mom! Dad's got that stinking rock in the bathtub. Again!" [Science is under attack in our schools. Act now! www.marcdraco.co.uk ]

11-27-2006, 09:45 AM	#2
wozza Mayor Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: uk, devon Posts: 886	hahaha very funny marc!! __________________ Betta lifespace 16lts OH YEAH!!!! going live in sept

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11-29-2006, 09:36 AM	#3
almostdiva Mayor Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 963	FUNNY! I esp. like the part about on flame, with scissors stuck in his eye. I've been that woman on one or two occasions in the past.

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