Pat's Age-Defying Protein Pancakes Not Working -- Senility Continues Unabated!

[Ninong]

God forgot to send that tsunami to wipe out Seattle last year but Pat's not giving up on Him. No, sir! This year God promised Pat He would send a "mass killing" our way late in 2007. Probably nuclear! Pat didn't come right out and say so, but I'm sure God is doing this because we voted for the Democrats and made Nancy Pelosi the new Speaker.


VIRGINIA BEACH, Virginia (AP) -- Evangelical broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday that God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would cause a "mass killing" late in 2007.

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network.

"The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."
Robertson said God told him about the impending tragedy during a recent prayer retreat.

God also said, he claims, that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

Robertson suggested in January 2006 that God punished then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians.

The broadcaster predicted in January 2004 that President Bush would easily win re-election.

Bush won 51 percent of the vote that fall, beating Democratic Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts.

In 2005 Robertson predicted that Bush would have victory after victory in his second term. He said Social Security reform proposals would be approved and Bush would nominate conservative judges to federal courts.

Lawmakers confirmed Bush's 2005 nominations of John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. But the president's Social Security initiative was stalled.

"I have a relatively good track record," he said. "Sometimes I miss."

In May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America's coastline in 2006.

Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring's heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction.


P.S. -- You, too, can predict nuclear attacks, cause hurricanes to change course, predict when a tsunami will wipe out Seattle or when a 'meteor' will rain down on Dover, Pennsylvania. If you would like God to talk to you, all you need to do is start eating some of Pat's Age-Defying Protein Pancakes!

While you're checking out Pat's website, be sure to check out Dr. Colbert's "Biblical Prescriptions." Don't let your doctor force you to accept secular humanist prescriptions! Ask for "Biblical Prescriptions" by name!

[SPasse]

Ninong,

The only thing that would be even worse than an actual attack would be if one of Robertson's predictions coincidentally came true…

Regards,

Scott

[schrocat]

ahhh yes.
The Jean Dixon Effect would kick in.