[Ninong]

Biological-Attack Signs

You may be experiencing a biological attack if you notice an "unscheduled or unusual spray being disseminated" or "unusual numbers of sick and dying people or animals." They don't say what an "unusual number" is. I guess if you notice more than five or six people dropping dead around you, you should take evasive action immediately.

What about bombs? What should I do in case of a terrorist bomb?

Different bombs require different evacuations. A pipe bomb necessitates an 850-foot sprint, while a 60,000-pound explosive device big enough to fill a semi-trailer requires fleeing 1.3 miles, which is why you should always carry a pair of running shoes whereever you go.

These helpful hints are found in the official 2007 calendar of the U.S. National Counterterrorism Center. The center, established in 2004 by President George W. Bush to track and disrupt international terrorist groups, is holding wine-and-sushi receptions at its headquarters, where reporters mingle with senior intelligence officials. However, the exact location of the center's Northern Virginia headquarters is classified information and cannot be made public, according to an official spokesperson who refused to give his full name.

You can read all about it here.

P.S. -- I thought it was against their religion for Republicans to hold wine-and-sushi receptions?

[zhenya]

I don't understand. Did they forget the evils of soy sause?

[Ninong]

Originally Posted by zhenya

I don't understand. Did they forget the evils of soy sause?

Why? Do they use soy sauce to make sushi? I wouldn't know because I've never tried sushi, which probably makes me a lousy liberal, but I just rather my fish cooked first before I eat it.

[zhenya]

Originally Posted by Ninong

Why? Do they use soy sauce to make sushi? I wouldn't know because I've never tried sushi, which probably makes me a lousy liberal, but I just rather my fish cooked first before I eat it.

No, you don't use soy sause to make sushi but you do use it as a dipping sause, mixed with wasabi...
I think they better check if they didn't turn gay at those receptions...

[Ninong]

Originally Posted by zhenya

I think they better check if they didn't turn gay at those receptions...

You're thinking about those West Coast receptions where the serve white wine with "brie and cheese." President Bush, while at his horseless/cattleless "ranch" in Crawford, once taunted a reporter who had just returned from a trip to the West Coast by saying, "brie and cheese."

The reporter was too chicken to ask him to explain the difference.

[zhenya]

Originally Posted by Ninong

You're thinking about those West Coast receptions where the serve white wine with "brie and cheese." President Bush, while at his horseless/cattleless "ranch" in Crawford, once taunted a reporter who had just returned from a trip to the West Coast by saying, "brie and cheese."

The reporter was too chicken to ask him to explain the difference.

Why does it sound so familiar?

[Ninong]

Originally Posted by zhenya

Why does it sound so familiar?

Because, as the dumbest man ever selected President of the United States, he has a reputation to maintain. Here are just a few of the many, many examples that prove that this guy is truly stupid:

"Brie and cheese." —George W. Bush, to reporters, on what he imagines reporters eat, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 23, 2001

"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." —George W. Bush, declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur." —George W. Bush, discussing the decline of the French economy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

"Do you have blacks, too?" —George W. Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001, as reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso

"Wow! Brazil is big." —George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005

"Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming in their country and trying to destabilize their country." —George W. Bush, interview with Al Arabiya Television, May 5, 2004

"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." —George W. Bush, June 18, 2002

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." —George W. Bush, at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001

"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency." —George W. Bush, June 14, 2001, speaking to Swedish Prime Minister Goran Perrson, unaware that a live television camera was still rolling.

"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." —George W. Bush, in a CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well." -- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

P.S. -- Proof positive that some people are impervious to the best educational efforts of the professors at Yale and Harvard.

[wozza]

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur." —George W. Bush, discussing the decline of the French economy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

hahaha that is too funny

[greenbean36191]

One of my favorite all-time Bushisms:
YouTube - George bush drunk funny video

He's gonna be here tomorrow! I'm soooo excited!!!

[zhenya]

And to add to greenbean's hilarious video.., check out this speech.
YouTube - Bush Drunk Part 3

[Ninong]

Originally Posted by zhenya

And to add to greenbean's hilarious video.., check out this speech.
YouTube - Bush Drunk Part 3

I wish they wouldn't post that one and others like it on YouTube because they detract from the legitimate, untouched ones where he is actually drunk.

In that one, they simply slowed it down to slur his speech. There are enough clips that are legitimate where he clearly is drunk.

In this clip he is definitely drunk. In fact, he even takes a drink on camera. He's attending a wedding and talking about the bride and groom and their families. He was governor of Texas when this was filmed. This was well after he swore off drinking.

Here is another legitimate clip. He's drunk when he delivers his speech at the Jerry Kilgore rally and he's drunk when he exits Marine One. This was early November 2006.

You have to realize that his handlers go to great lengths to keep his recent drinking binges out of the media and the White House press corps won't touch it. His drinking and his marital problems are considered off-limits.