What's the funniest joke you played on your kid(s)?

Aragorn · 10-04-2001, 12:30 AM

I love "messin" w/ my boys so I'll go first:
Last year my boys went to a party that got...out of hand. Needless to say, the police arrived. My oldest, Christian, saw it coming and "ditched" out a bedroom window(I never did that when I was a teenager of course

) and got away. Alot of kids were caught with...uh...hmmm...smokable substances. My youngest, Jay, was caught but didn't have anything. He was questioned and driven home by the police w/ a couple of the other neighborhood boys. When Christian finally arrived I performed my duty as PARENT/WRATH OF GOD and sternly reprimanded with suitable punishment.

Anyway, the next day, Christian, Jay, James and a couple of other boys were upstairs. I was downstairs reading. Out of the blue, I called the upstairs phone. Christian answered the phone. I immediately "switched" to a stern, low voice and said "May I speak with Christian Dobbie?"...brief silence..."Uh...yeah....speaking" came the stressful, crackling voice. "This is Officer Smith of the South Lake Tahoe Police Department. We understand that you were involved in an incident last night on 4th street where police were summoned to." I replied. Silence...then a muffled "Oh S##T! It's the cops!" then "Uhh...yeah" in a startled voice. At this time I could no longer maintain my composure and started laughing my butt off. Of course Christian ran downstairs and said "Dad! That was not cool! I nearly pissed my pants and James was getting ready to jump out the window!!" I was rolling! We still laugh about that one.

Reinhold · 10-04-2001, 10:03 AM

My middle daughter and her friend were constantly chatting in some chat room, despite my warnings that any pervert could be posing as a 15 year old and chatting with them.

One day while at work, I logged on to that chat room to check on them, and I saw that my daughter and her friend were logged in as "KC" and "M."

I registered as "Jason," logged on and struck up a conversation, posing as a 15 y/o boy. After getting all kinds of personal information from them, I typed in "Casey and Emily! You're busted! Love, Dad." I wish I could have seen their faces. No more chat rooms after that.

addicted2fish · 10-04-2001, 10:05 AM

This wasn't intended to be a joke but I thought it was funny...

One evening when my daughter was about 3 my wife was going to cook fish for dinner. I got held up at work and didn't get home until fairly late. When I walked in, my wife said "ok, it's time to cook daddy's fish". My daughter got this horrified look on her face, ran over to the tank, spread her arms out as if to protect it, and said very sternly "NO! NOT COOK DADDY'S FISH!"

Aragorn · 10-04-2001, 10:32 AM

Reinhold,

That one brings to mind another joke I pulled on the boys. You see, I have a LAN here at the house so everyone can use DSL. Anyway, I also run VNCviewer so I can monitor and/or control my boy's machines upstairs(kinda like PCanywhere). Well, when I view their machine(s), they can't tell I'm on. Well, one day I VNC'd into Christian's machine(this was before they knew I installed it). Him and James were chatting w/ some girls. Of course they were trying to impress them. I watched and it was pretty harmless. Then one of the girls asked what they like to do. Before they had a chance to respond, I furiously typed out "We use gerbils for sex toys" The response was "EWWWW! Your sick!!"
Then I see them type "We didn't type that!" The girls logged out. Then I started moving their mouse around, opening applications, closing them. The boys ran downstairs and Christian said "Dad. There's something wrong with my machine." I was laughing so hard and showed them. They were not amused. I was though.

**scubadude** · 10-04-2001, 11:01 AM

hehe...funny thread

Heres one....My daughter was taking a shower, and I turned off the main water supply (I was working in the garage and a freind was with me) i told him that when she comes out to tell me the water is turned off in the shower I will go in there to look at it and my freind would turn it back on before I even got to the bathroom.....so sure enough she comes running out in the garage w/a towel soakin wet w/soap all over her.....THE WATER SHUTOFF!!...me and my freind could barely keep a straight face. So i go in there and could hear the water running before I even got to the shower to look at it....We did this 3 times in a row, finally we started bustin out laughin so hard the 3rd time she ran into the garage pissed. She thought it was a ghost!

The other time was when i put vaseline on her toilet seat...

that one didnt go over to well.....Dont worry im not horrible....she has gotten me back many of times!

icemark · 10-04-2001, 02:05 PM

When my step daughter was 8 she used to always pick at her fingernails and toenails. She always was pulling the hangnails and long nails off instead of using a clipper. In fact she never let anyone near her with a nail clipper.

She my wife at the time and I told her is she didn't take better care of her finger nails and toes that she would get Gangreen on them and the doctor would have to cut her toes or fingers off.

Well one night while she was sleeping (in that deep sleep that only kids do) we put some green food coloring on a rag and wiped it all over her left big toe. Effectivly painting the toe water proof green.

When she got up in the morning she didn't notice at first. She went down stairs and started to watch TV, while my wife at the time and I were still in bed. Suddenly this ear piecing scream comes from down stairs, she bursts back up the strairs and with a cry of,"I've got Gangreen" burst into our room crying and screaming in fear of loosing her toe.

We must have laughed for a half hour after that... But it worked... she stopped picking at her nails.

FishKid · 10-04-2001, 09:30 PM

My dads gotten me good a couple of times, once i back when i lived in bensonhurst (brooklyn) I wasnt listening to my mom, so he told everyone to get in the car, but when i got in he told me to get out, then he started moving, at like 1 mph, he made me chase him a block! they thought that was hilarious! (i didnt!)

another one, was on the way home from florida once (the almighty car trek) we left at night, and i was afraid of the dark, so he told me that there was a weasle under the seat. i was petrified

i got him back on the april fools day with honey shampoo. and another time when i was little, i hid in the clothes rack at jcpennies, so my parents couldnt find me, it took them d@mn near an hour!

mark

Aragorn · 10-04-2001, 09:57 PM

These are some good ones folks

There was also the time when we were on a long road trip. Well, we stopped at a McDonalds and got BigMacs. A couple of hours later I noticed a piece of shredded lettuce that had "browned". Well, I took it while Christian wasn't looking and rolled it up. It looked exactly like a...oh what can I say, it looked like a booger! So then I made sure that Christian could see me out of the corner of his eye and pretended to "dig for gold" if you know what I mean. I then looked at my finger(with the lettuce on it) and proceeded to wipe it on Christian's arm. He looked at the lettuce and exclaimed "That is SO GROSS Dad!" I laughed so hard I almost drove off the road. I get my boy's all the time. Funny thing is, they love it cuz they always talk about the way Dad pulls jokes on 'em.

jwtrojan44 · 10-05-2001, 03:42 AM

Seeing as Halloween is approaching (the favorite holiday at our house) I remember last year when my oldest son was looking for one of his favorite shirts to wear out to a football game. Now he's always asking where his things are, so I thought I'd teach him a lesson. I took a styrofoam wig head and put one of my hideous masks on it. I rigged it so that a piece of clear fishing line was strung through the top of the head. I then attatched it to the inside of the clothes washer lid so that the head was down inside the washer. When the lid was lifted, the head popped up. So he's scrounging around for his "game shirt", which I had conveniently placed in the washer. I told him where it was and as he went down to the basement I could barely keep myself from laughing. Well a second later I heard the scream, and a few expletives, followed by his own laughter, knowing that once again, the old man had pulled one off. I nearly split a gut laughing. This year I'm going to do it to my wife, but hide behind the furnace and get it on film! HA! JWT

10-04-2001, 12:30 AM	#1
Aragorn Governor Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pine Grove, CA USA Posts: 2,064	What's the funniest joke you played on your kid(s)? I love "messin" w/ my boys so I'll go first: Last year my boys went to a party that got...out of hand. Needless to say, the police arrived. My oldest, Christian, saw it coming and "ditched" out a bedroom window(I never did that when I was a teenager of course ) and got away. Alot of kids were caught with...uh...hmmm...smokable substances. My youngest, Jay, was caught but didn't have anything. He was questioned and driven home by the police w/ a couple of the other neighborhood boys. When Christian finally arrived I performed my duty as PARENT/WRATH OF GOD and sternly reprimanded with suitable punishment. Anyway, the next day, Christian, Jay, James and a couple of other boys were upstairs. I was downstairs reading. Out of the blue, I called the upstairs phone. Christian answered the phone. I immediately "switched" to a stern, low voice and said "May I speak with Christian Dobbie?"...brief silence..."Uh...yeah....speaking" came the stressful, crackling voice. "This is Officer Smith of the South Lake Tahoe Police Department. We understand that you were involved in an incident last night on 4th street where police were summoned to." I replied. Silence...then a muffled "Oh S##T! It's the cops!" then "Uhh...yeah" in a startled voice. At this time I could no longer maintain my composure and started laughing my butt off. Of course Christian ran downstairs and said "Dad! That was not cool! I nearly pissed my pants and James was getting ready to jump out the window!!" I was rolling! We still laugh about that one. __________________ "It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."

10-04-2001, 10:32 AM	#4
Aragorn Governor Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pine Grove, CA USA Posts: 2,064	Reinhold, That one brings to mind another joke I pulled on the boys. You see, I have a LAN here at the house so everyone can use DSL. Anyway, I also run VNCviewer so I can monitor and/or control my boy's machines upstairs(kinda like PCanywhere). Well, when I view their machine(s), they can't tell I'm on. Well, one day I VNC'd into Christian's machine(this was before they knew I installed it). Him and James were chatting w/ some girls. Of course they were trying to impress them. I watched and it was pretty harmless. Then one of the girls asked what they like to do. Before they had a chance to respond, I furiously typed out "We use gerbils for sex toys" The response was "EWWWW! Your sick!!" Then I see them type "We didn't type that!" The girls logged out. Then I started moving their mouse around, opening applications, closing them. The boys ran downstairs and Christian said "Dad. There's something wrong with my machine." I was laughing so hard and showed them. They were not amused. I was though. __________________ "It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."

10-04-2001, 11:01 AM	#5
scubadude Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Wichita, Kansas Posts: 5,292	hehe...funny thread Heres one....My daughter was taking a shower, and I turned off the main water supply (I was working in the garage and a freind was with me) i told him that when she comes out to tell me the water is turned off in the shower I will go in there to look at it and my freind would turn it back on before I even got to the bathroom.....so sure enough she comes running out in the garage w/a towel soakin wet w/soap all over her.....THE WATER SHUTOFF!!...me and my freind could barely keep a straight face. So i go in there and could hear the water running before I even got to the shower to look at it....We did this 3 times in a row, finally we started bustin out laughin so hard the 3rd time she ran into the garage pissed. She thought it was a ghost! The other time was when i put vaseline on her toilet seat... that one didnt go over to well.....Dont worry im not horrible....she has gotten me back many of times! __________________ Rocky

10-04-2001, 02:05 PM	#6
icemark Governor Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Rohnert Park, CA, USA Posts: 1,102	When my step daughter was 8 she used to always pick at her fingernails and toenails. She always was pulling the hangnails and long nails off instead of using a clipper. In fact she never let anyone near her with a nail clipper. She my wife at the time and I told her is she didn't take better care of her finger nails and toes that she would get Gangreen on them and the doctor would have to cut her toes or fingers off. Well one night while she was sleeping (in that deep sleep that only kids do) we put some green food coloring on a rag and wiped it all over her left big toe. Effectivly painting the toe water proof green. When she got up in the morning she didn't notice at first. She went down stairs and started to watch TV, while my wife at the time and I were still in bed. Suddenly this ear piecing scream comes from down stairs, she bursts back up the strairs and with a cry of,"I've got Gangreen" burst into our room crying and screaming in fear of loosing her toe. We must have laughed for a half hour after that... But it worked... she stopped picking at her nails. __________________ Play well Mark www.mazdamark.com

10-04-2001, 09:57 PM	#8
Aragorn Governor Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pine Grove, CA USA Posts: 2,064	These are some good ones folks There was also the time when we were on a long road trip. Well, we stopped at a McDonalds and got BigMacs. A couple of hours later I noticed a piece of shredded lettuce that had "browned". Well, I took it while Christian wasn't looking and rolled it up. It looked exactly like a...oh what can I say, it looked like a booger! So then I made sure that Christian could see me out of the corner of his eye and pretended to "dig for gold" if you know what I mean. I then looked at my finger(with the lettuce on it) and proceeded to wipe it on Christian's arm. He looked at the lettuce and exclaimed "That is SO GROSS Dad!" I laughed so hard I almost drove off the road. I get my boy's all the time. Funny thing is, they love it cuz they always talk about the way Dad pulls jokes on 'em. __________________ "It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."

10-04-2001, 10:03 AM	#2
Reinhold Mayor Join Date: May 2001 Location: USA Posts: 941	My middle daughter and her friend were constantly chatting in some chat room, despite my warnings that any pervert could be posing as a 15 year old and chatting with them. One day while at work, I logged on to that chat room to check on them, and I saw that my daughter and her friend were logged in as "KC" and "M." I registered as "Jason," logged on and struck up a conversation, posing as a 15 y/o boy. After getting all kinds of personal information from them, I typed in "Casey and Emily! You're busted! Love, Dad." I wish I could have seen their faces. No more chat rooms after that.

10-04-2001, 10:05 AM	#3
addicted2fish Citizen Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: St. Pete, Florida, USA Posts: 107	This wasn't intended to be a joke but I thought it was funny... One evening when my daughter was about 3 my wife was going to cook fish for dinner. I got held up at work and didn't get home until fairly late. When I walked in, my wife said "ok, it's time to cook daddy's fish". My daughter got this horrified look on her face, ran over to the tank, spread her arms out as if to protect it, and said very sternly "NO! NOT COOK DADDY'S FISH!"

10-04-2001, 09:30 PM	#7
FishKid Governor Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Holbrook, NewYork, USA Posts: 1,799	My dads gotten me good a couple of times, once i back when i lived in bensonhurst (brooklyn) I wasnt listening to my mom, so he told everyone to get in the car, but when i got in he told me to get out, then he started moving, at like 1 mph, he made me chase him a block! they thought that was hilarious! (i didnt!) another one, was on the way home from florida once (the almighty car trek) we left at night, and i was afraid of the dark, so he told me that there was a weasle under the seat. i was petrified i got him back on the april fools day with honey shampoo. and another time when i was little, i hid in the clothes rack at jcpennies, so my parents couldnt find me, it took them d@mn near an hour! mark

10-05-2001, 03:42 AM	#9
jwtrojan44 Citizen Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: pa. Posts: 140	Seeing as Halloween is approaching (the favorite holiday at our house) I remember last year when my oldest son was looking for one of his favorite shirts to wear out to a football game. Now he's always asking where his things are, so I thought I'd teach him a lesson. I took a styrofoam wig head and put one of my hideous masks on it. I rigged it so that a piece of clear fishing line was strung through the top of the head. I then attatched it to the inside of the clothes washer lid so that the head was down inside the washer. When the lid was lifted, the head popped up. So he's scrounging around for his "game shirt", which I had conveniently placed in the washer. I told him where it was and as he went down to the basement I could barely keep myself from laughing. Well a second later I heard the scream, and a few expletives, followed by his own laughter, knowing that once again, the old man had pulled one off. I nearly split a gut laughing. This year I'm going to do it to my wife, but hide behind the furnace and get it on film! HA! JWT __________________ It aint' pretty being easy.

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