[Ninong]

Now that the Republicans are about to be in full charge, so to speak, it's time to learn more about their goals for the future of our great democracy. The President of the United States is a Republican from the Great State of Texas, so what better place to start than the Texas Republican Party Platform.

Here are some of the positions lifted verbatim from the Platform of the Republican Party of the State of Texas:

"We believe that life begins at the moment of conception." [No surprise there, but it would have huge legal ramifications.]

"We publicly rebuke judges Chief Justice Murphy and John Anderson, who ruled that the 100-year old Texas sodomy law is unconstitutional, and ask that all members of the Republican Party of Texas oppose their re-election." [Must be local state thing. Obviously they do not believe in the Right to Privacy.]

"The Party opposes any attempt by the United States Census Bureau to obtain any information beyond the number of people residing in the dwelling at the time of the census."

"We oppose any attempt to introduce direct democracy into our state constitution thereby bypassing the legislative process." [This means they don't want to be like California. No telling what people might vote for if we actually gave them a chance. Don't want to end up like California with all those crazy propostions. As the elected representatives of the people, we know what's best for them and best for our contributors and we don't need them coming up with any ideas of their own.]

"The Party calls for the United States monetary system to be returned to the gold standard."

"We oppose the concept of 'sustainable development.'" [This means they prefer a slash and burn approach to the environment. Drill away, drill away, drill away. Alaska here we come. Yippee!]

"We oppose the theory of global warming." [Wow! Try to act surprised.]

"We oppose the Endangered Species Act." [Shocking, truly shocking. I never would have known if they hadn't said so right there in their platform. Poor little spotted owl.]

"We oppose EPA management of Texas' air quality issues." [I love the smell of refineries in the morning, don't you?]

"Congress should withhold appellate jurisdiction of the Supreme Court in such cases involving abortion, religious freedom and all rights guaranteed under the Bill of Rights." [Why don't they just ask for the abolition of the Supreme Court and be done with it.]

"The Party supports legislation requiring labor unions to obtain the consent of the individual union member before the member's dues can be used for political purposes." [Especially since unions seem to be donating to the other party. Enron, however, should be free to continue giving as much as they can steal without asking the consent of their shareholders.]

"The Party opposes any so-called 'campaign finance reform' that restricts free speech." [We have more money than the other guys and we intend to spend as much of it as we please.]

"Any person filing as a Republican candidate for a public or Party office shall be provided a current copy of the Party platform at the time of filing. The candidate shall be asked to read and initial each page of the platform and sign a statement affirming he/she has read the entire platform."

"The Party supports the immediate adoption of American English as the official language of Texas and of the United States of America." [Whew! That was a close one. I was afraid they were going to push for the adoption of Texas English as the official language of the United States. Then we would all have to start saying nukular instead of nuclear.]

"The Party calls upon the Texas Legislature and the United States Congress to repeal any and all laws that infringe upon the right of individual citizens to keep and bear arms... and to reject the establishment of any mechanism to process, license, record, register or monitor the ownership of guns." [They left out "From my cold, dead hands." Awww... I guess it could have been worse. They could have pushed for compulsory gun ownership.]

"The Party supports repeal of the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Law." [Anybody should be able to block any clinic entrances they want to. People have no right to go to such terrible places anyway. And we have the right to picket their homes and put their names and addresses on our hit-lists, too.]

"Our Party pledges to do everything within its power to dispel the myth of the separation of Church and State." [This is a Christian nation, under God, and don't you forget it. Praise God, or else!]

"The Party deplores all forms of preferences and discrimination based upon religion, race, color, national origin, gender, age, or physically disabling condition. We also deplore forced sensitivity training." [It costs entirely too much money to make public buildings accessible to people in wheelchairs and, besides, they usually vote Democrat anyway. And we don't need no stinkin' sensitivity training.]

"Capital punishment should be swift and unencumbered." [Nobody has ever accused Texas of being soft in that department. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't realize there was any need for them to do a 'better job' in that area.]

"The Party recognizes that the family is a sovereign sphere of authority. We oppose actions of social agencies to classify traditional methods of discipline as child abuse."

"We oppose any criminal or civil penalties against those who oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction, or belief in traditional values." [What if you decide to oppose something else out of faith or religious conviction, would you be exempt from criminal or civil penalties if you could prove it was a deeply held religious belief that led to your actions?]

"We oppose adoption of children by homosexuals." [No surprise there, but wait, they go much, much further than that!]

"No homosexual or any individual convicted of child abuse or molestation should have the right to custody or adoption of a minor child, and that visitation with minor children by such persons should be limited to supervised periods." [Wow! They could have started that sentence without the first three words, they could have started it "any individual convicted" if their intent was to restrict only convicted persons. The way it is written they are against visitation with minor children by homosexuals unless supervised! Either that or they have a poor grasp of the English language.]

"We must have more stringent legislation to prohibit access to pornography and sexually-oriented businesses." [I thought Republicans were against government regulations? But I'm sure they would want it done at the state level, since I'm sure they're all in favor of states' rights. You don't think they actually are asking for federal legislation to regulate individual privacy, do you? Oh, right, they don't believe in the right to privacy.]

"The Party supports legislation prohibiting the use of human fetal tissue or organs for experimentation. The Party opposes any and all work or experiments involved in human cloning." [Any and all. Period.]

"We unequivocally oppose the United States Senate ratification of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child." [Children have no rights. See "family is a sovereign sphere of authority" above.]

"We refute the former Texas Attorney General's decision that Texas' elected State Board of Education may not enact general textbood content standards telling publishers what they shall and shall not include in public school textbooks used in Texas." [We're sick and tired of all these California science textbooks invading Texas that don't even mention anything about Adam and Eve and instead teach our children that evil, evil evolution theory. And global warming, too. They even talk about that. It should be left up to us politicians to decide what science is, not the pointy headed scientists. Most of them are damn atheists anyway. Bet you didn't know that.]

"We call for the abolition of the U. S. Department of Education. The Party recognizes the failure of humanistic, value-free instruction, which denies the existence of the Creator in developing responsible citizens." [See 'Adam and Eve' above.]

"We urge the Texas Legislature, Governor, Commissioner of Education and State Board of Education to remind administrators and school boards that corporal punishment is effective and legal in Texas." [No guidelines on paddle size or number of whacks?]

"We oppose ideologically enforced political correctness in the institutions of American society that eliminate the free expression of ideas." [They're not in favor of any 'politically correct' ideas. See preferences, etc. above.]

"Religion and Secular Humanism. We support the return of Bibles and other religious books to the shelves of all public schools and libraries." [They're against humanism, secular or otherwise.]

We support individual teachers' right to teach Creation Science in Texas Public Schools." [Tom DeLay, one of the finest minds of the 13th. century, will be in charge of this department.]

"The Party urges school administrators and officials to inform Texas school students specifically of their rights to pray and engage in religious speech on school property." [See 'abolition of the Supreme Court' above.]

"The Party supports admendment of the Americans with Disabilities Act to exclude from its definition those persons with infectious diseases." [To eliminate HIV/AIDS.]

"Homeless and Poverty Stricken. The Party encourages private groups to use their own creativity and initiative to explore private alternatives to government assistance." [Because under the doctrine of 'Compassionate Conservatism' there ain't gonna be no more government handouts.]

"Social Security. The Party supports an orderly transition to a system of private pensions based on the concept of individual retirement accounts , and gradually phasing out the Social Security tax." [In other words, they want to abolish Social Security, another one of those damn New Deal ideas.]

OK, this is taking much longer than I expected. I'm only up to page 16 of a 23 page document. But I think you get the idea. I think I'll go back and highlight some of the funniest ideas in red.

http://www.texasgop.org/library/RPTPlatform2000.pdf

[Reinhold]

Hey....it all sounds great! Where can I send my donations?

[Ninong]

Send them to the Nancy Pelosi for President Exploratory Committee, San Francisco, CA

[hcp28]

Originally posted by Ninong
"Social Security. The Party supports an orderly transition to a system of private pensions based on the concept of individual retirement accounts , and gradually phasing out the Social Security tax." [In other words, they want to abolish Social Security, another one of those damn New Deal ideas.]

Does this mean that that Fica guy won't take my money anymore?
Who's this Fica guy and why is he always taking my money?

Henry

[Ninong]

...in case some of us are unfamiliar with just how different Republicans from the great state of Texas are from the rest of humanity. Everything in quotations was lifted verbatim from the 2000 Texas Republican Party Platform. Everything in brackets was added by me. This platform was adopted while George W. Bush was the Republican Governor of Texas and it provides valuable insights into the environment that molded his beliefs.