[jazack]

It is a very sad sad night for me fellow reefers. Long story short, my wife and I are seperated and she still lives in the house. I have a very well established 55 gallon reef tank that I have been maintaining for 2 years now. it has 150 pounds of live rock (florida live rock, fiji live rock) with tons of growth. I had multiple colonies of Zenia, Ricordia mushroom, Hairy mushroom, star polyps, button polyps, Pagoda, goniapora, various sponges, serpent stars, hermits, turbo and bumble bee snails, and 5 fish--Yellow Tang, 2 Zebra stripped damsels, Coral Beauty, and yellow tailed Damsel. Mostly I was proud of the corals and everything was flourishing and growing. As I said, this has been set up for 2 years and I have spent much time and money and love with this tank, watching it grow etc. You all know what goes in to this hobby.

So, I was planning on moving this tank to my new residence on Sunday because my soon to be ex-wife will not take care of it.

Well, all of this was taken away from me in an instant as we had an argument over the phone about somthing silly and she was pissed off about somthing and proceeded to (deep breath) pour a gallon of bleach in my tank killing everything in it.

My friends, I am heartbroken at the loss of this tank in such a manner. The thought of starting over, the money I have now lost in corals, fish etc.... I just can't beleive this woman could have been so incredibly cruel as to do such a destructive thing. I am very upset about it right now as it just happened not more than 4 hours ago.

If any of you ever get divorced (for those of you who are married) my suggestion is TAKE THE TANK WITH YOU ASAP!!! I have only been out of the house for 3 weeks and this was the soonest I could move it. I have maintained it as well as I could not living there but I guess I don't have to worry about it anymore......................... What a shame.....
Thanks for listening

[patsfan1130]

Originally Posted by jazack

It is a very sad sad night for me fellow reefers. Long story short, my wife and I are seperated and she still lives in the house. I have a very well established 55 gallon reef tank that I have been maintaining for 2 years now. it has 150 pounds of live rock (florida live rock, fiji live rock) with tons of growth. I had multiple colonies of Zenia, Ricordia mushroom, Hairy mushroom, star polyps, button polyps, Pagoda, goniapora, various sponges, serpent stars, hermits, turbo and bumble bee snails, and 5 fish--Yellow Tang, 2 Zebra stripped damsels, Coral Beauty, and yellow tailed Damsel. Mostly I was proud of the corals and everything was flourishing and growing. As I said, this has been set up for 2 years and I have spent much time and money and love with this tank, watching it grow etc. You all know what goes in to this hobby.

So, I was planning on moving this tank to my new residence on Sunday because my soon to be ex-wife will not take care of it.

Well, all of this was taken away from me in an instant as we had an argument over the phone about somthing silly and she was pissed off about somthing and proceeded to (deep breath) pour a gallon of bleach in my tank killing everything in it.

My friends, I am heartbroken at the loss of this tank in such a manner. The thought of starting over, the money I have now lost in corals, fish etc.... I just can't beleive this woman could have been so incredibly cruel as to do such a destructive thing. I am very upset about it right now as it just happened not more than 4 hours ago.

If any of you ever get divorced (for those of you who are married) my suggestion is TAKE THE TANK WITH YOU ASAP!!! I have only been out of the house for 3 weeks and this was the soonest I could move it. I have maintained it as well as I could not living there but I guess I don't have to worry about it anymore......................... What a shame.....
Thanks for listening

I am very disturbed to hear this and I am sorry for your loss

[Airmotive]

Anyone ever been arrested for animal cruelty to a fish?

Originally Posted by patsfan1130

I am very disturbed to hear this and I am sorry for your loss

[Airmotive]

On the other hand....just leave the tank there now. I'm sure in a few weeks the smell will have her regretting her actions! (I'm just trying to light a candle rather than curse your darkness)

Originally Posted by Airmotive

Anyone ever been arrested for animal cruelty to a fish?

[jazack]

I did contact the police after I found out about this and there was nothing they could do. According to them, this aquarium is considered property that we BOTH own and she can do whatever she wants to it. Apparently, even though everything in the tank was living, this would not be considered cruelty to animals. As for leaving the tank to fester, I can't because my 9 1/2 year old son lives in that house 4 days a week and that would not be a safe environment for him. So not only did she murder my tank, but now I get to go over there and clean it up. I haven't seen it yet and my heart sank when I heard about it. I can only imagine how it is going to make me feel when I see it that condition. I am very sad right now

[Poseidon]

Dude... That is a total bummer! Guess there will be no reconciliation now.

[Calfire]

Sorry to hear about your loss. After reading your post and what the cops said i started to think that the furiture and bed, and many other things are both of yours so why not just cut the bed in half with a chainsaw. I know your son stays there so dont wreck anything he might use. Just trying to make ya laugh or something. I dont know what you are feeling but i am sorry for your loss.



Jason

[Ninong]

Sorry for your loss. Sometimes when people are very upset they do foolish things. Hopefully you and your about-to-be ex-wife will manage to get beyond this stage for the sake of your son.

You probably do have a legal cause of action against your wife but I'm not suggesting you pursue that angle.

Good luck!

[Ninong]

Originally Posted by Airmotive

Anyone ever been arrested for animal cruelty to a fish?

YES!

A few months ago a couple of fraternity brothers at U.C.S.C. (Santa Cruz) were busted for exactly that. There was an MTV camera crew filming their "typical fraternity life" for another one of those stupid reality TV programs. In their defense their attorneys claimed that it was the presence of the cameras that encouraged them to do "wild and crazy things" that they wouldn't have done otherwise.

What did they do, you ask? They went out in the middle of the night (around 2 a.m.) and captured the school's pet koi from a pond on campus. This was a 2' long koi that was well known and enjoyed what might be called mascot status on campus -- I think their official mascot is the banana slug or something like that... seriously! Since koi will approach anyone who comes to the edge of the pond hoping for a handout, it was no problem at all to simply haul the huge fish out of the water with a garden rake. ALL OF THIS WAS BEING FILMED BY THE MTV CAMERA CREW! MTV's defense was that it was not their job to tell these boozed up morons what they should or should not do. Their job was simply to film everything and let their editors figure out what to do with the footage.

They clubbed the koi to death the way Canadian "fishermen" club the baby seals to death. (Point of information here: The Canadian government says that the seals that are permitted to be clubbed to death are not "baby" seals because they are three weeks old.) After clubbing the fish to death, they gutted it and grilled it and then some of them ate it. The gutting and grilling and eating all took place back at the frat house. The MTV cameras captured everything, including all of the insensitive, foul language that accompanied their drunken display of what passed as macho bravado for these spoiled, MTV generation, first class jerks. One of their frat brothers is heard commenting, "Wow! That's the dumbest thing I think I have every seen!" He's one of the ones who refused to partake of the feast.

I'm sure you can imagine the defense before I even describe it. Just a bunch of "kids" horsing around. Since when are 20-yr-olds considered kids? Sort of like "W" becoming a "mature person" at the tender age of 40.

They were fined $500 each and ordered to go community service in the form of working at a koi hatchery. I can't remember the exact length of the community service but it was substantial -- weeks, not days.

[SteveP]

Ouch - that's brutal. Good job it wasn't the dog that you'd left at her place.

Steve

[kevinpo]

Very sorry to hear about your loss Don't take any action but just try to get through the mechanics of separation. Look forward to setting it up again and having your son be involved in the restoration. The example you set for his sake will be very important. It will also be theraputic for you too.

Best of luck in this challenging time,
Kevin

[zhenya]

Yikes! I'm sorry for your loss, unwarranted and cruel actions by your soon to be ex-spouse,regardless of the circumstances that might of made her do it.
However, I agree with Kevin, best action would be to concentrate on your son's well being and hopefully restart new tank together. It may help both of you in the long term.

Again, so sorry to hear of this.

[orion25]

If you want true revenge do not do anything to her. Go to the house while she is there and take care of the tank - drain it, remove the LR & sand, etc. Take everything with you. Start fresh at your new place but get your son involved. Take him to the LFS when you start adding fish and inverts. Ask his opinion and steer him in the right direction if necessary. Consider this to be a tank that belongs to you both. (If I read it right you have him for 3 days and she has him for 4). This will help form a bond between you two that she can never have (she destroyed the origional - drop subtle hints but do not make her out to be the bad guy!).

Take it from a guy whose father passed away when he was 3. All boys want something to share with their fathers that their mother cannot enjoy. It was handed to you, run with it!

Anyway, this is just my opinion. And, I am sorry for your loss (The Tank, not Her!!)

[saltjunkie]

also, in the nicest way you can, dont do **** for her.... when the car is brokedown, tell her to get a mechanic, when the toilet is clogged, call a plumber..... When the ac goes out.... call the repair man...

when all of this **** happens, and it will, just go get your son.... take him to a ball game, or something.....

show her what it is like to be alone... dont be rude or mean.. infact be very polite and considerate......
just let her do it herself, an when she asks why.... tell her you dont like helping murderers......

[loyalty]

man, thats the cruelest thing I've ever heard. On a hot rod forum I'm a part of, ex wives keying vintage cars has happened, but nothing as depraved as this

[fishgeeksrus]

Whoa, personally I am not sure that I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone like that. Just think of it as a blessing in disguise. Have fun with your son! Don't let him hear you call her a C U Next Tuesday! Because for somereason that popped up in my head. Sorry!

[DEE]

Hey Jazack-

Sorry for your loss but everyone here has given you sound advice- Don't do anything vindictive or that you will regret later because you son will hear about it. I know it's hard to ignore it but you have to be the bigger person right now or you could jepordize your relationship with your son for ever.

P.S. Not all wives are as vindictive or meanspirited

DEE

[Elmo18]

Good gawd I'm sorry about this. However, as many have said, I would concentrate on ending the separation first, and take care of your son.

You will feel better about it in the long run, and he will know, too.

- Elmo

[jiggly75]

wow what a heartless person.. my husband and i take care of our tank together and if we ever split up(well lets just say i sure wouldnt kill the tank), my fish our like babies to me, its sad enough when one dies unexpectedly, but to purposely kill everything wow sounds like she needs some anger management classes. But now you can start over fresh with your son(sounds like he was to young to participate b4 when u started) and as said b4 it can be something special for u both. gl with new tank.

[aldog51]

SOOOOOOOOOOO Messed Up man!!! She should be subject to some formal punishment!! My tank inhabitants are like my kids, when I go on vacation all I do is worry about them, I could only imagine the pain and anger you are feeling inside. Wish you my deepest sympathy and hope you can start the hobby again.